The Text

J bailed again on counselling. This is the second time. What a let-down, but not a surprise. Just another one of the thousands of promises made that he couldn’t be bothered to keep.

I’m drained from today. I got message after message from him, manipulating me into talking to him by subtly playing the suicide card. He definitely got me worried.  I got it all sorted out. I had to tell his Mom and sister. Don’t think he’ll be trying that again. As most people learn when they’re teenagers, suicide threats are not taken lightly.

I found myself drafting a text message today to send to J’s Mom, but instead I emailed it to myself. I kept it in text message form- unedited, with lazy grammar. Here it is:

Is there anyone who can talk to J? Explain that couples counselling is our first step to communicating. Explain that I can’t b upset and that I’ve tried so hard to warn him about his destructive behaviour that I literally don’t have the energy to talk about it. That he HAS to do this. That he’s already thrown away so much and that this opportunity is a gift that not very many ppl get. Tell him that he needs to stop being selfish and that he’s abandoned me while I’m pregnant. That he doesn’t need to b afraid cuz he will be doing the right thing. Tell him that he tried to ruin what is supposed to b the happiest time of my life. That I continue to go above and beyond for him and he should do the same for me… That I’ve done nothing and neither had this unborn baby. And he’s taken our future, a loving whole family, and destroyed it. That Ive been so forgiving and he should never have forgotten that. Tell him that the least he can do is try to put it back together cuz its the right thing to do and its about time he manned-up and did the right thing for once in his life.

I didn’t send it because it’s too long, but also because J’s Mom knows it would just make him angry. I still think someone, besides me, should tell him.

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