My Greatest Fear

Being a single mother is the hardest job in the world. 

This social stigma constantly berates my brain. It’s a horrible feeling. Is it really going to be that hard? My solution to this fear of mine is to GET A GOOD JOB.

I’ve had one goal my whole life: I do not want to struggle. My family has always worried about money and that’s something I wanted to come to an end in my adult years. I always wanted to raise a child with two parents who have good-paying jobs. Forget the two parent thing for now- but I still have hope I will land a good paying job. It only takes one good job… I’ve been trying for years to accomplish my goal.

I graduated from journalism school, did some freelancing, couldn’t get a job after trying for a year-and-a-half. So, I went to hairdressing school. I thought I couldn’t go wrong with a trade. I was really happy working at a salon and just got full-time hours when I found out I was pregnant. Unfortunately, I had to leave for medical reasons, which I won’t bother boring you with.

I recently got an extremely boring, low-wage, part-time job doing editing and layout for history books. It’ll do for now. I sure do wish I had co-workers to pass time with though!

Although I love hairdressing its instability scares me now. Before, I had all the time in the world to build a clientele and make some decent money, but now that I’m pregnant I don’t have that time.  I’m pretty sure I will be heading back to school. I’ve been looking through fast-track courses and so far I think an administrative assistant course would be my best bet. Hopefully I can get a job through the city or a school district. Does anyone out there have any other suggestions?

My ideal life would be working 25-30 hours a week as a well-paid administrative assistant, and hairdressing at home for 10 hours a week. And of course, always writing, which is my true passion…

For now, all I want in life is to find a job where I start at $20 an hour. I would be over the moon. It would be such a relief! We could survive on that. As of today, I’ve never made over $12.50 an hour and I’m educated. Being 20-something in 2012 sucks.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. sjtyre
    May 23, 2012 @ 02:55:01

    Being a single mother IS the hardest job in the world (or so it seems lol) Be thankful you’ll only have one!!! 🙂 It requires change, sacrifice and selflessness but you won’t care! I promise you will not care! One look at that little face when he’s born and you’ll know you are exactly where you’re supposed to be and giving up everything in the world will feel natural, not like you’re being jipped. Eventually, you’ll get comfortable with everything and you’ll get some semblance of normality back in your life. You’ll find a babysitter, you’ll go out on dates with yourself and start doing things for yourself again, not often lol, but you’ll do it and you’ll miss your child when you’re gone. That is my best piece of advice as a single mother…take time AWAY because it’ll make you appreciate your position and your child even more 🙂 Don’t lose yourself 🙂


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